It is finished (in more ways than one)

The kitchen is finally finished.

I feel like we moved.  Not only does the kitchen look totally different, but most of our stuff is still packed in boxes in the basement.  I may just leave it all down there, because it's nice to have less clutter.  In case you can't remember what the kitchen looked like before the renovation, here is 1965 with a little 1990 thrown in -

Fast forward to 2013 -

Just in case you are renovating and want to know all of details, this is what we chose (after much deliberation) -

Kitchen cabinets - KitchenCraft Lexington doors in Alabaster (uppers) and Gunmetal Blue (lowers)
Dining room cabinets - KitchenCraft in Weathered Slate
Countertops - Caesarstone quartz in Pebble Gray
Dining room countertops - Statuarietto marble
Backsplash - Bianca carrara marble
Grout - Platinum by Polyblend (You might think it odd that I include this small detail, but if you have ever chosen grout, you know that it's a big decision.)
Range - KitchenAid
Refrigerator - KitchenAid
Mini-fridge - U-line
Floors - Red oak stained in Minwax Classic Gray
Paint color - Misty Moonstone by Glidden (color matched by Sherwin Williams)


To give you more information, I'll take the liberty of interviewing myself -

What was the most difficult part of the renovation?  By far, the constant decisions.  Also constantly cleaning up dust and finding nails on the floor all over the house (but this wouldn't have been an issue if we had isolated the renovation to the kitchen.)  Being without a washer and dryer for certain periods bothered me more than not having a kitchen.  And people showing up at our house every morning at 7:45.

What was the easiest part of the renovation?  Hmmmm....

What turned out surprisingly good?  The paint color.  My husband wanted to go this light all along.  And he was right.  Oh, and the cove ceiling, which I thought was a waste of money... until I saw it finished. That was also my husband's choice.

What was different from what I expected?  I thought that once I made a decision, it was done.  But I was constantly told - "We can't do that because - there are studs here, that's out of stock now, or this wallpaper has a selvage edge."  Yes, you will notice that the wallpaper was not used.  We couldn't find anyone to hang it, because it has edges that have to be cut off in a perfectly straight line.  I learned that you have to be able to switch directions in the design at any moment.

What do I wish we had done differently?  I wish we had decided to replace all of the doors and remove the paneling from the living room walls at the beginning of the project instead of in the middle.  It delayed us a lot.  My advice is that if you are doing a major renovation, you need to go ahead and renovate everything that is visually connected to that space at the same time.

Would I do it again?  I don't know.  The kitchen is beautiful, but the process took a toll on our family.  I was so consumed by the renovation that I couldn't focus on anything else, and I feel like my relationships suffered.  Ironically, the physical displacement and inconvenience didn't affect me as much as it affected my husband.  I think because he went to work everyday, it was always a shock to come home to such chaos.  However, the chaos and workers just became a part of my life.

What is my main advice to someone starting a renovation - Pick out as many items as you can before the construction starts, because there will be so many things you didn't even think about.  But always be willing to change - see above.  But don't be afraid to stick to your vision and tell your contractor to "make it work".   (At one point everyone was telling me we had to put our main light switch in this odd location because of the placement of the studs.  I kept insisting on moving it to a more logical spot, and they figured out a solution.)  Also, pick a contractor with a lot of experience in your type of renovation on your type of house, because his/her knowledge will come in handy (like knowing where to find used brick that matches your house when you brick in a window and door).  


With the completion of the renovation, I also feel a sense of completion with this blog.  I am ready to move past the computer into more flesh and blood.  I want to move past planning and documenting and analyzing to more doing - sewing, painting, reading books, talking to people face to face.  I am ready to move beyond myself into better relationships.  I may be back on the Web one day.  But I don't know. This has been a blessing to me...and I hope to you.  So, for now (with misty eyes but no tears), I leave you with the greatest lesson I have learned through writing this blog -

You can only find soul balance through Jesus.

(Ok, now there are tears.)


With happiness in moving forward,
Meredith

What is your everything?

I don't know if I should admit this or not, but one of my favorite shows is "The Rachel Zoe Project".  Half of you probably don't know who Rachel Zoe is (she is a fashion stylist and designer), and the other half of you may not be able to stand her "whiny personality" (as my husband describes it).  However, I enjoy watching the process of styling, and I respect the fact that she is successful at what she loves to do.  One of the entertaining aspects of the show (and something that may have made her more famous than her styling) is that she is always coming up with catch phrases to describe how much she loves a garment.  Last year, it was - "I die" or "Bananas".  Her most recent phrase is - "This is everything."  When I first heard her say that I thought, "Really? That dress is your everything?"  And although I think she would say that she loves her son more than fashion, she would probably admit that it's a close call.

It made me stop and think, "What is my everything?"  What do I get really excited about?  What do I get really upset about?  What do I worry about?  What do I think about when I wake up in the middle of the night?  Lately, it has been my house renovation.  It has been my "everything".  And I can tell you that it's a difficult, elusive, never-ending master.  I've learned that it's much better to be content with what you have than to try to reach perfection with your house, because you will never be finished.

Before my house, it was artistic outlets - fashion, painting, sewing, photography, blogging.  I still really enjoy all of those activities, but they each make for a very shallow "everything".  Art and fashion can express substance, but they can't be the substance.  You do reach the finish line in art (as opposed to house decorating), but the satisfaction of the art piece only lasts for moment.  Then you must create again to fill the void.

Today (Easter) is the most popular day to go to church, but I doubt that God is "everything" to many people.  It's just too easy to ignore God (at least in the good times), and there are too many things screaming for our attention.  This morning in church, the pastor said that we can't have a moderate view of Jesus, because Jesus made a lot of claims that didn't leave that option open to us.  The pastor's statement made me think that often I just want a moderate amount of Jesus in my life.  But Jesus didn't really leave that option open to us either.  He continually asked people he met to make him their "everything".

God was the first artist, the first fashion designer, the creator of relationships, the creator of talent and work.  He thinks all of that is good.  But he didn't mean for any of that to be my "everything".  He's the only one that has enough substance for me to soak up for a lifetime.  He's the only one with enough beauty and goodness to never lack for depth.  He's the only one I can't suffocate with my needs.  He's the only one that offers enough love to fill my soul.  He's the only one that is worthy to be my "everything".  

 

C'est fini

My one year of not buying clothes is officially over today.  How do I feel?  A little sad.  I already miss it.  It simplified my life and made it better in so many ways.  I learned to be content with what I have.  Without the option to buy something new, I really appreciated what I already have.  I grew to like my clothes better and never once said, "I have nothing to wear."  I wore more of my clothes and stopped saving my nice things for a special occasion.  It never felt like a hardship.  I was actually happier getting dressed in the morning.

Did it have to be a whole year?  For me - yes.  I needed that long to gain the right perspective.  During the first few months, I was very conscious of not buying clothes.  It didn't bother me, but occasionally I would think, "I wish I could buy that."  After a few more months, I stopped thinking about it, and it was only when other people mentioned it that I would look forward to buying certain things (new jeans, a certain necklace).  But just in the last month I noticed that clothes have became slightly less important to me.  I don't really care about having anything new.  I'm fine with what I have.

I'm still a believer in looking nice when you leave the house, but I've noticed that the people who consistently dress well have a sort of uniform that works for them.  And you don't need a lot clothes to do that.  I could really wear dresses most of the time.  A dress is an instant outfit.  I may become known as the "wrap dress girl".  These days I like anything that simplifies my life.  I am determined to buy fewer items of better quality.  And I am going to get rid of everything that I "might wear someday".

I honestly considered not buying clothes for another year, but most of my socks have holes, my pajamas are falling apart, and my tennis shoes are wearing thin.  There are some things that I need to buy just so I don't look like a hobo to my own family.  However, I hope to buy more wisely and not very often.

If you are considering giving up something for a while, my biggest tip for you is to move toward something else.  I was so distracted by planning my kitchen, working on art projects, and learning how to sew better that didn't have time to shop even if I had wanted to.  Fill your time and your thoughts and your passion with good things and the non-beneficial things will be pushed out of your life.  (And it does help if you blog about it.)

One month left

I started my "year of not buying clothes" 11 months ago.  (I know a lot of you think it is over today, but I started on February 1.)  I didn't intend to make it a protest against consumerism, but I have learned a lot about my consumer tendencies during this process.  I thought that not buying clothes would make me feel like I didn't have a lot of clothes, but it has done the opposite.  It has magnified the amount of stuff I already have.  We all gasp at the "hoarders" they show on TV, but maybe all Americans are hoarders to some degree.  This just came out of our basement -

And this is only the broken stuff!  We have already given away two van loads full of the good stuff.  And we aren't finished yet!  How did we have this much stuff in our basement?  Our basement is not very big.

I think I rely too much on my stuff for comfort, for memories, and as a storehouse for the future.  "I might need that one day."  I am getting rid of everything that I say that about.  I can live with less resources and make it work.  I have a vision of a streamlined closet, house, and life!  (Well, maybe life can never be too streamlined, but at least I won't have so much stuff in the way.)

At just the right time...

That is one of my favorite quotes from the Bible.  "...at just the right time..."  Because I am a very impatient person, I repeat this phrase to myself a lot.  I have learned that when events happen "at just the right time" they are much better than when they happen "at just the wrong time."  And speaking of timing, we have still not started construction on our kitchen.  I thought we would be finished by now.  I know two families that started their kitchens at the same time we did and have now completed theirs.  We are still tweaking our design.

I went to visit a countertop distributor this past week and was reminded by Melvin, the stone cutter, of another great phrase - "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be."   We started out by discussing the fact that the countertops I have selected are out of stock until June 2013.  He told me a story about recently buying a house and offering the seller a significantly lower price than he was asking.  Melvin said his realtor told him there was no way the seller would take the offer.  Melvin responded, "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be."  And do you know what happened?  The guy took the offer.  Melvin went on to tell me, "The God we serve is strong enough to bring to pass whatever he wants to happen."  I thought to myself, "We aren't talking about countertops anymore, are we?"

But we were.  I continue to run into glitches in our kitchen process, and in order to keep the right perspective, I have to say to myself, "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be."  God only knows if we will ever get past the design phase, but if we do, it will be "at just the right time."

In the process - Part 3

Earlier this week I promised you more discussion on porcelain tiles.  I'm sorry, but our contractor has decided that hardwood floors will be best.  He says the tile will crack as the house settles.  So, there will be no more searching for tile flooring.  (Although, there are some really cool porcelain tiles out there that look like hardwood.  And vinyl tiles that looks like hardwood.  If the kitchen floor wasn't going right next to real hardwoods, I would consider either of those options.)

This kitchen design has been a loooong process, and I'm still trying to learn how to enjoy the process.  According to Tom Rath's Strengths Finder book, I'm an "achiever".  Everyday I "start at zero" and must achieve something to feel good about myself that day.  That is totally how I think.  And that is why I am so uncomfortable ending the day in the middle of the process.  But now that I know that about myself, I can tell myself that it is "OK!"

So, in an effort to find beauty in the middle of the process, I am going to totally switch gears.  I am going to end this day with some fashion inspiration.  I love how the coat is perfectly fitted in the shoulders but flowy around the lapel. And I really like the scarf.  This outfit is neutral but very interesting in its mix of texture and pattern  -

I hope you are seeing some beauty in the midst of your process.

Jump roping in the morning

My girls have been begging me for jump ropes.  I thought it would be a 5 minute fad, but they have been jump roping every minute since I bought them yesterday.  First thing after breakfast, they wanted to go outside to jump rope.  I had no idea it was so much fun.

Today, I'm thankful that they have fun doing activities that are good for them.  Happy Thanksgiving!

The design process never ends...

Well, I had made two firm decisions about our kitchen - the wallpaper and the light fixture.  Now, we have determined that our ceiling is too low for the light fixture.  My husband and I have had several fights discussions over the fate of the light fixture.  The contractor suggested that we raise the ceiling.  My husband determined that we are now designing the kitchen around the light fixture.  And I responded that I was doing that all along.  But to allow my marriage this project to survive, I am giving this light fixture over to God.

I have to say that I have enormous guilt over splurging on a light fixture that doesn't even fit in our house (and can't be returned).  However, today I ran into some friends who recently had a stomach virus, and as I was slowly backing away from them, I was thinking to myself that the light fixture has not afflicted me in any physical way.  I would rather have to sell 10 light fixtures on Craig's list than have a stomach virus.  And to further put it all in perspective, this is the verse that I read this morning -

"Blessed are they whose trangressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.  Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him."

It doesn't say, "Blessed is he whose kitchen is really cool because of that amazing light fixture."  So, it feels a little like a death to give up my "art piece" (but not as bad as a stomach virus).  In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am very thankful that all I can complain about is that it seems like we will never get this kitchen constructed.  I am very blessed that my family is healthy and happy and especially that my sins are covered (because they are many).

Too many options

November 1.  I have officially gone 9 months without buying clothes (including shoes and accessories).  Even though I am now living without a watch (it broke) and have a little back pain from exercising in my thinly soled tennis shoes, my life is more simple now.  I can get dressed much more quickly with less options.  And I am determined to further reduce my options by giving away more of my clothes.  I want to live with less.  I am happier with less.

I probably wouldn't enjoy this so much if I wasn't able to make clothes.  It is nice to have something new every once in a while, but the feeling of making something is so different from buying it.  The process is much slower and longer and builds up my brain and my spirit rather than weighing it down with stress and guilt.

I can see my issues with clothing being repeated in the process of designing my kitchen.  There are a thousand options out there and none of them are what I picture in my head.  It is exactly why I started sewing (but I have no desire to learn how to make cabinets).  I think I am trying to make the "perfect" decisions.  I need to accept what is good and be content.  

I am actually sad that I only have 3 months left of this clothing experiment.  I am scared that I will go back to the way I was before.  I have "seen the light", but do I have the self-discipline to hold onto that vision?  I need to develop a plan.  One plan that keeps coming to mind was developed by Jesus -

"Sell your possessions and give to the poor."

That sounds pretty crazy.  But as I plan all the details of my new kitchen, that verse keeps coming back to me over and over.  He gave that as advice on how to stop worrying, and I'm starting to think he was right.  I'm going to go find some more stuff to give away...


"Watch out!  Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." - Jesus

....and the experiment is over

Last week after watching the movie "The Lorax", my daughter asked me if I was worried that our world would become like it is in that movie in which they have no trees.  I told her that I wasn't really worried about that.  I am worried that our world will become like it is in "WALL-E" in which everyone is mesmerized by computer/televisions all day - because our world is already becoming like that.  We already carry little computers around in our pockets, and how many of us use them while we are in the car?  I don't even get email or Internet on my phone, but can I live without my computer?  Well, last week I got to find out.

A little virus took down my computer.  So, I had no computer (including Internet and email access) for one full week.  Here is what I learned:

1. I get all of my information from the computer.  Weather, phone numbers, directions, product information, store information, medical advice, school schedules, etc.  On the first day without my computer, I realized that almost every thought I have is somehow related to information from my computer.  I couldn't even figure out how to get my computer fixed without using the Internet.  First, I called the computer guy my husband uses at work.  He didn't call me back.  Then,  I called "411" to get a phone number for someone else and found out that you can no longer talk to a real person.  The recording kept giving me a fax number.  So, I tried the really old fashioned way and drove to where I thought was a computer repair place.  I couldn't find it.  I finally had to call my husband at his office to ask him to get the information off the Internet.

2.  My brain moves much more slowly when there is no computer around.  This is not necessarily a bad thing, because my brain usually moves at mach speed.  I am an information junkie and the the Internet feeds my addiction.  I need every piece of information before I can make a decision, and the Internet provides thousands of avenues to research every topic.  I was definitely less productive without my computer, but I also had lower expectations about what I could achieve.  I was satisfied with less.

3.  So, what did I do last week with all of my time away from my computer?  I read a lot of books.  The library has informed me that I can keep the Einstein biography for one more month, so I need I finish it.  On the very first day of my computer-less existence, I read these quotes by Einstein - science has "enslaved men to machines" and "has made our lives hurried and uncertain."  He believed strongly in the simple life.  The simple life sounds great until you realize that it is the antithesis of the American life.  I have been contemplating the "simple life" as I plan my kitchen renovation, which is not simple.  When you combine my indecisiveness with my innate need to be "different", planning a kitchen renovation can take up a lot of time.  I need it to be functional, but I also want it to be beautiful.  How do I balance enjoyment of beauty with the "simple life"?  (As I am writing this, my husband is having difficulty getting our oven open, so I could list all of the practical reasons to renovate our kitchen.)

I am still contemplating what I learned from this forced experiment.  I know that I want to limit my time investigating all of my available "options" when making my decisions.  I also know that I don't want email and Internet on my phone.  I need a little forced separation.  And if you see me one day walking around with an iPhone, feel free to say, "WALL-E", and I will know what you mean.  Another thing my husband said just now was that he kind of enjoyed these last few days without a computer.

Guess where I went today?

Oh, yes!  Kindergarten field trip!

 It was fun.  I spent time with my daughter.  Met all of her classmates.  Got dirt and other stuff all over my tennis shoes.  One field trip was probably enough...but there will be more.  Many more.  I'm not sure how it's all going to balance out this year. 

On a light-hearted note, I have to leave you with the best conversation of the day.  It occurred when this one little boy was going on and on and on with "I love to eat pig!"  Finally, another kid was curious enough to ask, "What is pig when you eat it?"  The first boy responded in a know-it-all way, "It's turkey!" 

On the other hand...



Yesterday, I mentioned the benefit of imbalance - mostly because I have learned a lot this summer from some "imbalancing" situations.  However, I don't want to encourage you to lounge in a stagnant imbalance.  Learn from your imbalance...but don't stay there.  Analyze and make a change.


Note: This post has been highly modified from its original version, which I'm sure is still available elsewhere on the Internet.  I want this blog to be helpful but not overly depressing, and that is why I have dispensed with most of my previous post and will just leave you with this quote about love, which in Woody Allen style takes you one step past truth into hilarity -  

"To love is to suffer.  To avoid suffering one must not love.  But then one suffers from not loving.  Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer.  To be happy is to love.  To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy.  Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness."  - Woody Allen

The benefit of imbalance

Balance is very desirable, but often it is imbalance that keeps us on course.  When imbalance steps into our lives, we are forced to re-evaluate our focus and our methods.  Change, challenge, disagreement, sickness, and death can quickly show us what is really important and streamline everything.  It's the most unusual and difficult parts of life that give us the most perspective.

Balance - Know thy limits

Our last outing before school starts -

We went to the High Museum.  We didn't necessarily need an educational trip.  We needed to get out of the house.  I love my kids, but this summer has shown me my limits.  My balance will come on Monday when the children go to school.

On a side note, the Picturing New York photo exhibit is totally worth the trip to the museum.  If you are interested in photography at all, you should go before the exhibit leaves on September 2.  However, Picturing the South is everything about the South that makes me want to move to New York.

Balance Friday - Permission to think small

As we wandered around Oregon, we started to notice the predominance of small businesses.  Oregon seems to really appreciate and support the "mom and pop" (or in their case the "edgy youngster") type store.  Food carts dot the sidewalks in Portland.  Independent bookstores thrive.  Small coffee houses appear every 200 feet on the road out to the coast. 

There was one small bookstore that we visited twice.  We were drawn in because they were always doing something slightly strange - but intriguing.  One day, the bookstore employees were grilling on the sidewalk -

One day, they had a shark art exhibit -

My girls enjoyed reading their comic books, which we don't see often -

As an American, I have been trained to dream big and be successful.  Since my children will both be in school full time this year (whoohoo!), I am inclined to fill my time with great plans for my blog and a new business.  But I kind of already enjoy my life how it is (and have enough activites to easily fill whatever extra time I will have).  Oregon reminded me that we don't all have to be the biggest, flashiest store on the block.  We can just do our thing, and it's ok if that is something small.

Balance Friday - Who are You?

I cringe a little whenever someone asks me, "What do you do?"  I realize that my response is about to put me in a box. They are asking because that is just how you start a conversation in America. (I've read that Europeans are more likely to ask, "Who is your family?")  I dabble in painting, blogging, clothing design, photography, and parenthood. However, I don't find my identity in any of those activities.

After being asked that question several times last week, I started to have an identity crisis.  I don't really know where I fit and started to desire a better "box" than any of my typical answers could provide.   How do I see myself?

While I was reading Einstein by Walter Isaacson, I was getting excited about his "thought experiments" and feeling my brain expand.  He worked in a patent office 8 hours a day, but you don't know him as a patent application reviewer.  He managed his work and life in order to have space to think.  And he came up with some pretty brilliant thoughts. 

I started to see myself in his life.  Then, a light bulb went off.  That's when I realized that I am a thinker.  I don't know if I'll ever come up with anything that anyone will remember, but this realization helped me to make sense of my life.   I love literature and chemistry, art and math.   I once was an accountant and now I am a clothing designer.  How do all of those things go together?   It's all about the idea.   I already describe myself as loving "the spark of a new idea".   Ideas light up my world. That's why I am a browser in activities.   I love learning, and I'm always looking for new ideas.

As I construct my days and my weeks, I now realize that I have to allow myself space to think.   I can look back and see that I start to go crazy when my schedule is so packed with activities and people that I can't let my brain breathe.   I feel completely unbalanced when I can't THINK.

So, who are you?  And what makes you feel most like you?   Make sure you experience that often.

P.S.
How do we change the question "What do you do?" into something that will really tell us about who a person is?

My thinking outfit by finding-soul-balance featuring a blue shirt

Blue shirt
sheinside.com

Long maxi skirt
missiny.com

Balance 101

Drawing by my daughter

Last week, I dedicated Friday to talking about balance.  I can give you a lot of advice about how to achieve balance at any certain point in your life, but in order to continually maintain balance, I think you have to go deeper than tips and tricks.  I don't want to just keep all of the plates successfully spinning in the air.  I want a sense of completeness, wholeness, peace, joy, purpose, life, and freedom in the midst of everything.  That's why I am looking for "soul balance".  I want it to be real and deep to my core. 

After "finding soul balance" for over a year, I've realized that I only feel balanced when I totally depend on God for my life and direction.  I can try to orchestrate my life and work and people so that everything fits together perfectly.  But I don't know what is around the corner in the next minute.  I feel balanced when I open my hands and recognize that only God, who created the world, can bring it back into the balance which he intended from the beginning.  I am learning to literally say, "God, what do you want me to do today?  And help me to do it."

It is only from this starting point that any of my other balance advice may help.

"There is only one will of God...in it there is established the freedom and the simplicity of all action." - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Unplugged

Last night as I was washing dishes by candlelight (our power went out), I was trying to decide if I would rather give up electricity or running water.  I've been without both, and I think I would choose to give up electricity (although I would prefer to make that choice in a less hot time of year).  I was also thinking about the fact that most of the people that have ever lived before me did not have electricity or running water.  Not having those two things slows you down - maybe to a more decent pace of life.

When I started my blog, I felt very scattered in my brain.  Lately, life has slowed me down through sickness and power outages, and I have realized I may need to take more deliberate steps to slow down in the future.  Turn off the computer.  Turn off the TV.  Read a book by candlelight.  It was really amazing the effect the power outage had on my family.  My girls had more fun and got along better.  They went to bed faster.  My husband and I had a conversation.  I need to unplug more often in the future.

Gifts for the soul

Yesterday was my wedding anniversary.  I just realized (it takes me a while) that my husband always gives me something based on the "traditional anniversary gift" list.  Fortunately, the traditional gift for the 12th anniversary is silk.  So, he thoughtfully bought me a silk top.  (I bought him a croquet set.)

Rebecca Taylor blouse

Most of you know that I am not buying clothes for a year, so you can imagine how significant this gift was.  I was nervous to try it on.  It had to fit.  And it did.  Because I am becoming more resourceful, I immediately noticed that this blouse is "reversible" -

I like how this direction gives the blouse a feminine "moment" in the back -

Two other friends have given me clothes during this "shopping fast". Each time I am given something, I am reminded - "The Lord will provide".   He provides for my soul as much as he provides for my body.  God knows I don't need any more clothes, yet he gives me little gifts along the way.  And now as I am getting dressed, I am reminded of the people who care about me.

Friday Balance

I have realized recently that my blog is helping me to find balance, but it probably isn't helping you to do so.  I have been considering a blogging "schedule" to add some structure to my posts and to guide you along, but I often don't know what is going to inspire me in any given week.  Then, I started thinking about my natural writing inclinations and realized I tend to re-evaluate my past week and plan my next on Fridays.  It is the day on which my pent up dreams and desires come out.  It's when I pay more attention to my family and friends.  I think Friday is when I naturally re-balance myself.  So, each Friday I will offer a tip or thought about balance. 

My balance thought for today is this -

What is the intrinsic value of what you spend most of your time doing?

This is a difficult for me, because what I am drawn to do may not be the most valuable thing in my life.  I am a task-oriented introvert, which means I love reading, thinking, and doing projects BY MYSELF.  But God has given me 2 little people to take care of (3 if you include my husband).  So, I have to constantly balance what feeds me (time alone) with what feeds them (time together). 

I can often justify what I am doing as - "I need time by myself".  But I have to push myself to determine whether it is valuable time by myself.  Am I making a dress, because I need to create and grow or because I need a pat on the back?  Am I spending hours reading blogs for inspiration or to "escape"?  Is watching this TV show helping me or should I really be sleeping? 

Now, I'm going to post this and get off the computer, because reading a book to my daughter is intrinsically more valuable than checking my email one more time.  (And Mondays will be about Fashion, because I don't want to be serious too many days in a row.)