Real life style

After spending time around perfectly "put together" people, I start to crave something more earthy and real.  On Saturday, I walked down to the perfect little village in Mountain Brook to get some coffee.  Everyone was beautiful and well dressed.  As I was walking back to my friend's apartment, I spotted this woman walking her dog in what appeared to be her night gown/dressing gown/house gown - I don't know what you would call it.  But I was immediately drawn to her huge hat that allowed her to walk around completely incognito.  It added a bit of elegance to what could have been a throw away time of day.  And the stripes on the gown are bright and flowy.  She looked chic walking among the huge oak trees in her "real life" style.

Rest...and think

In case you are not aware, New York Fashion Week was last week.  To many people, fashion is a religion and Fashion Week can be a worshipful experience.  Because of my love for all things creative and beautiful, the "top 1/3" of my soul is tempted to follow after this ever-changing (and expensive) god.  I have to admit that the debut of the Fall/Winter collections in New York is one of my favorite weeks of the whole year (and in this coming week, I'm going to show you what I loved about it.)  But in the end, it doesn't satisfy the "bottom 1/3" of my soul - the deepest part. 

What satisfies the "bottom 1/3" of your soul?

Simplicity

Nobody can balance too many things.  In our modern time, we have so many options that we can be easily overwhelmed.  We can only do what we are called to do.  The most successful people focus on one thing and do it well.

Einstein said, "It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."*


*Quote obtained from In Search of Balance by Richard Swenson.

Balanced Imbalance

Nothing can throw you off your game like a child.  My children are a constant source of imbalance in my life.  They are predictably unpredictable.  And they are loud.  You can try to train them, but ultimately you can't control them.

Richard Swenson says in his book In Search of Balance, "Even if perfect balance were attainable, it would be unwise to remain in that state continuously...A life that never experiences imbalance is one without growth and challenge."

So, a little imbalance can be good.  Out of sheer necessity, my children push me to become a better person.  Before having children I had many "profound" thoughts, but it is the reality of daily life in a family that helps deepen my soul. 

What deepens your soul?

Opening up

After days of cleaning out all of our closets and making new clothes with old, I snuggled down on the couch with my sick girls to watch "The Fox and the Child".  Before it was even over, the movie had motivated my children to go outside to explore. 

But first, they had to eat a lot of snow and collect ice cycles.

"The Fox and the Child" is a good movie to watch if you are in a stuck place.  It opened up our natural sense of wonder and discovery.  Highly recommended.



Are you an escape artist?



Jump by Doug Flora.  Photo by Dan Irwin.


Do you spend part of your day trying to escape from the rest of it?  Your escape could be anything you choose that does not add to your life - TV, internet, food, exercise, shopping, gossip, etc.  (Escaping feels different from simply relaxing.)  An escape is an attempt to expand your soul that does not go far enough. 

I've been an escape artist all of my life, but my husband is slowly teaching me to say regarding my problems, "What can we do about this?" rather than entering a downward spiral of introspection.  This brings me to my mantra for the past year - "If you don't like your life, change it."  Figure out what you are escaping from and change it.  Then examine your "escape" to see if it represents something your soul needs.  Go for it in a more productive way.

Start small, but think big.

Is being FASHIONABLE essential to BALANCE?



photo from jcrew.com

 To the question above, I would say "no", BUT...I do believe what you wear reflects how you feel about your life. 

In high school, my unique (and sometimes wacky) outfits expressed my desire to escape the constant academic and social pressure.  During college and early career, I felt more comfortable and literally started to conform to the dress I saw around me.  In my late 20's, my all black wardrobe reflected my dim outlook on the future as I felt trapped in a successful career that was suffocating my soul.  My style of dress has changed with every stage of my life, and as I look back now, my clothes have always expressed my state of being.

What is your soul saying to you through your clothes?

These are a few of my favorite things

With the new year quickly approaching, I thought I would list a few of my favorite things from 2010 -

1. My younger daughter is just recently mature enough to play well with my older daughter.  (I hear angels singing in the background - ahhhhhhh!)

2. I discovered fashion blogs.

3. I had the opportunity to create artwork to hang on the walls of my church. 

Creating this artwork was the first time I really used my artistic gifts in a significant way.  I felt like I was participating in something bigger than myself.  This experience showed me that art can be "soul" significant.  Brian Godawa points out in his book Word Pictures that the first person mentioned in the Bible as being filled with the spirit of God was an artist!  He also states, "Roughly 30 percent of the Bible is rational propositional truth and laws, while 70 percent of the Bible is story, vision, symbol, and narrative - that is, image." 

"When I lean into something bigger than me, something bigger than me happens."  - quote by yours truly

The second issue in finding my balance

I adore fashion...

...but I also find that it leaves something lacking in my soul.  Few things give me the thrill that I feel when watching a fashion show or examining the beauty of an exquisitely crafted garment.   However, there seems to be a very short satisfaction point in this industry.  The love of fashion can easily grow into simply a lust for more and more beauty.

For most of my life, fashion meant appreciating the newest looks and figuring out how to wear them.   But lately, I have been feeling like it could mean more - helping other people feel beautiful or by creating a dress that makes a person's life easier.  Maybe meaningful fashion is called style and exists to make one's life concurrently simple and beautiful.  Can the beauty of fashion have a place in the real world of truth and bring to us any of the meaningfulness of love?

"People will remember almost nothing of what you tell them and only slightly more of what you do.  But they will remember for the rest of their lives how you made them feel." - Randall Wallace, film screen writer and director (as quoted in World magazine)

My First Issue

My first issue in finding soul balance was recognizing my limits and learning to say "no".   I felt like saying "no" was being unloving to people I love.  Then I realized that I have a limited amount of time and energy, which I have to reserve for what is most important in my life.  (Honestly, I had to read a whole book in order to really grasp this concept.)  We can't be everything for everybody.  We can only be what we are supposed to be. 

"No, for most of us, is an almost impossible word.  It triggers a crisis of guilt and conscience - we'll disappoint our friends, we'll miss out, we'll not get promoted, others will think us weak, we'll be accused of selfishness.  But whatever else it is, "no" is a simple mathematical concept.  We are allowed by God to commit our "yes" up to twenty-four hours a day.  After that, we must say no." - excerpt from In Search of Balance by Richard A. Swenson, MD

Our Modern Balance Problem



artwork by Meredith Howard


"On one side of the equation, we have more and more of everything faster and faster.  On the other side of the equation, we have our relatively fixed limits: time, money, physical energy, emotional resilience, intellectual capacity." - excerpt from In Search of Balance by Richard A. Swenson, MD

A year ago, I felt completely overwhelmed and scattered by all of the different activities in my life. On top of that, I felt guilty, because I was still not doing as much as everyone else I saw around me.  My daily activities drained me.  I had nothing left inside, so I pushed people away.  I wanted to run away from my life and start over. 

So, that's when I decided to refocus.  I started to acknowledge my limits.  I started to evaluate every little aspect of my time, schedule, desires and dreams.  I did not want to merely reorganize my life based on a list of priorities.  I wanted an overarching spirit to connect all that I do.  I wanted my life balance to come from deep in my soul.  That is when I began to find soul balance.